


skull’s magician

by Paradichlorobenzene



Category: Original Work
Genre: Death, Gen, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 09:03:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20255581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradichlorobenzene/pseuds/Paradichlorobenzene
Summary: I am a fool who was in denial, only coming to accept after it had been bashed into my head. The melancholy life has done many wounds for a life of one and many. Insanely scared of things and being attached, yes, indeed that is sure to come says the paranoia that fades as if it was never real.





	1. Denial.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to create a series of poems that reflect crises in my life, so that people know there is someone who feels the same. Yes, I want to understand people.

Red and blue and white  
the colors awoke me  
from a state of peace.  
  
that peace became shattered  
operation, jail they said  
i am in fear of those in the sea  
those who are in the force  
  
the static lured sleep  
good children do what is ‘told’  
the sun rose and the moon fell  
  
news comes late  
in the happiest  
breaking down  
growth went up  
that person—  
(that soul—)  
  
why did they go?  
(i tried to get them  
to stop—)  
futile, a child  
  
shock, fear, tears  
i wonder  
if anything  
heals damaged hearts  
that still ‘bleed’  
  
come on  
with all this magic  
you can surely  
oh so surely come back  
this operation must cut  
losing you—  
  
by being a child  
of adult tendencies  
it is hard to be rests  
it is i who is  
too far …  
  
and it is you  
who has decayed...


	2. Testing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and a cat’s skull  
the sky was vivid…

it is i who became  
too comfy with a cat  
it is i whose heart  
is so fragile  
  
you who died when i was gone  
the cat ived loved for so long  
who would dare kill a cat?  
what type of sick human kills  
an animal who too had a family?  
  
it is i who wants to  
relieve in childhood  
where i did not  
have to grow up  
  
it is i who wish  
i wasn’t so out of touch  
i who is too distant  
i wish i knew how to heal  
  
even now,  
am i really hurt?  
why do these wounds reopen?  
i want to know  
but im scared.  
  
scared i have to grow up  
again and be left with nothing  
  
but two human skulls  
a lavender bush   
my hands ache from the thorns   
of black roses.


	3. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don’t like the sea  
as when i look down  
i imagine you and your roses  
ashen flowers  
  
you smiling at me  
i feel numb...

the sea brings peace  
i am afraid of the ocean  
life was almost gone  
i am a fool  
the day of your celebration  
  
i felt the same  
of two years ago.  
  
the sky was vivid with blue  
you who brought me happiness  
in place of a person  
who too fell  
  
there is the sea  
there are roses  
there are skulls  
  
i am a fool  
for letting myself  
be hurt again.  
  
i don’t want to be close  
don’t want to get hurt again  
  
then i’ll have wounds  
holding two skulls  
as the sea livens  
lavender and thorny roses  
  
everything will forever be  
black and white.


	4. Acceptance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> years after you  
fallen...  
  
I have accepted.  
i must move on.  
  
If I cannot move on, I am a fool.

I cannot...  
cry as much as one would like.  
  
The sky is vivid  
but this world is bleak.  
  
The skulls I hold  
the sea that haunts  
the flowers that hand in hand  
  
I must learn to accept this bleak world.  
if I can’t, then I won’t be able to move on.  
  
If I accept,  
why do I still believe  
that I could have saved  
all four of those dear.  
  
I don’t want to lose anymore  
that is why i will detach  
from people  
  
I will never get hurt again, surely  
you cannot hurt what isn’t there  
i can’t bring myself to be free  
of the loose shackles  
why does death reflect  
in these monochrome thoughts  
  
The rain is grey  
I wish for a day of  
pure rain  
to think about all four  
  
(even if  
my mind has blocked  
all trauma out—)  
  
There will be things to remind  
i must force myself to go on  
i can’t be ‘sad’ over these things  
they are in the past  
I’ve already forgotten  
everything will become bleak...  
  
you and three  
it is i with these skulls  
the gray drips tears  
it is i with the the skulls of flowers.  
  
And it is who,  
that has to go on  
even if I want to  
share who I am  
  
pandora’s box  
will only show me death.

**Author's Note:**

> Muraramurajakotasupopopo


End file.
